Issue #2 | You're My Little Secret (pt. 2)
Things get heated between Destiny and Jazz...
Straps & the City is an ongoing Black and queer-centered fiction about four Detroit-based women navigating life, love, and friendship.
*Set the vibes with the themed playlist in section 2!*
Previously: Tim left Destiny at his party and asked Jazz to make sure she’s good while he’s gone. Jazz is taking her assignment very seriously...
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Trailing behind Destiny, Jazz hesitantly stepped into the bedroom. The door softly clicked shut behind her, blocking out the commotion from downstairs. The silence that followed was sobering and felt almost oppressive as it breathed down her neck.
A whisper of Tim’s cologne hung in the air — Bleu de Chanel, a scent once associated with the warmth of friendship, now replaced by the coldness of possible betrayal.
She could hear the faint sound of laughter, muffled by the door that separated right from wrong. The bass from the party hammered weakly through the floor as Kanye West’s Addiction played.
The lyrics “She’s got a lover. So, the lies and the lust is a rush,” felt pretty on the nose as the powers that be seemingly taunted her situation.
She looked around the room, feeling burdened by traces of Tim. She was forced to acknowledge him despite his absence.
His watch sat on the nightstand. His Nikes were at the foot of the bed. A framed picture of him and Destiny smiling together sat on the dresser. Jazz’s gaze lingered on the photo, noting how carefree and happy they looked together.
She bet that the guy in that picture never assumed one of his friends would come to his house and fuck Destiny in his bed.
Damn, this is fucked up. Even for me.
For the first time all night, Jazz truly felt like shit. The gravity of what she was thinking of doing had finally come crashing down. She was seriously considering backstabbing someone who trusted her. Someone who opened up his home to her on countless occasions.
She’d come into the safe space her friend shared with the woman he loved with ill intentions. She knew she’d likely regret it, but her mind was made up. She wasn’t going to turn back.
One thing about me? I can compartmentalize my ass off.
Jazz took a deep breath and sighed out any lingering feelings of shame. Ripping her eyes away from the photo on the dresser, she looked at Destiny who was sitting on Tim’s bed. She wore a soft smile as she watched Jazz walk her way. She was like a siren — alluring and irresistible, yet dangerous.
The light from the floor lamp cast a soft spotlight on Destiny’s pretty brown skin. Her delicate movements, even down to the way she softly blinked, mesmerized Jazz. She was one of the most precious creatures she’d ever laid eyes on.
Destiny made her feel like a fallen leaf, her direction completely dependent upon the mercy of the wind. She held great power over Jazz. Whatever she wanted tonight, she was going to get.
Their legs brushed as Jazz sat down next to her on the bed. She was closer than she intended to be, but it was too late to correct her error. She lightly rubbed her hands against her thighs as her heart galloped in her chest.
Am I breathing too loud? Why did I sit so fuckin’ close?
“It’s quieter up here,” Destiny said, sighing and leaning back on her hands. “Thank goodness, I was getting a little overstimulated down there.”
“Yeah, it feels kinda good to get away from the chaos,” Jazz replied distractedly. She was looking everywhere but into Destiny’s eyes. A merciless awkwardness washed over the room as they pretended there wasn’t an elephant in it.
Destiny cleared her throat. “I just wanted to thank you again for being here,” she said, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. “I don’t think you understand how big of a help you’re being.”
“I’m more than happy to help you, Destiny. For real,” Jazz replied sincerely. She finally let her gaze fall on her. From this distance, she could see the little mole below her bottom lip and the depth of her brown eyes. She had butterflies. The butterflies were unwelcome visitors.
“Plus, I’d rather be here with you than down there with Tim’s friends,” she continued. “You think they’ll be ok while we up here? Everybody seems to be high as fuck, drunk as fuck, or both.”
“Yeah, his friends get a little too lit sometimes,” Destiny said, chuckling to herself. “I almost didn’t come tonight because of it.”
“Well, I’m glad you did,” Jazz stated.
“Yeah, me too,” Destiny replied. There’s another silence. This one was full of the secret messages they’d left between the lines.
“You sure it’s really ok for me to be up here?” Jazz asked, looking around the room. “I ain’t gon’ lie, it kinda feels like Tim is watchin’ us.”
Jazz scoffed and rolled her eyes. “He should’ve thought about all that before he left me here to fend for myself,” she replied bitterly. “Still pissed about that, by the way.”
“Dang, for real?”, Jazz joked. “I couldn’t tell.”
Destiny gave her the evil eye and swatted her arm. “It’s just that sometimes he doesn’t consider how his actions might affect me,” she said. “And I can’t lie, that shit hurts. Especially after all this time. I feel like he’s always putting someone else ahead of me.”
“Yeah, I get how that might be frustrating,” Jazz nodded in understanding. “You want him to make you feel seen.”
“Exactly. To be seen is to be loved,” Destiny said. “You’ve made me feel seen tonight,” her voice softened. “I really appreciate how you handled me when I was feeling overwhelmed.”
They shared an intimate look. It was vulnerable and raw. Like slowly stripping away your lover’s clothes and trailing kisses down their back. It took everything in Jazz not to lean in and show Destiny just how affected she was in that moment.
How have we already crossed a line when we haven’t even touched yet?
“Can I tell you a secret?” Destiny asked. She wore a shy smile as she looked at Jazz.
Jazz perked up. She loves secrets. “You ain’t even gotta ask,” she chuckled. “Hit me wit’ it.”
“Well,” Destiny said, hesitantly. “You know how you were hanging out with that girl earlier?”
“Lin— Mel?”, Jazz replied, furrowing her brow. “Yeah, what about her?”
Destiny looked down at the floor as if contemplating whether or not to finish. She inhaled sharply and continued.
“Seeing the two of you together might’ve made me a teeny tiny bit jealous,” she finally confessed.
Jazz’s eyes widened. She was too stunned to speak. Destiny had basically just confirmed what she’d been hoping, but was too afraid to assume. She had feelings too.
I should probably blink at some point but gotdamn.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Destiny said, hastily getting up. Jazz grabbed her by the wrist before she got too far.
“No!”, she half shouted. Clearing her throat, she vowed to control her volume this time.
“I’m glad you said it,” she admitted. Her gaze was sincere but unsure. “But, maybe I shouldn’t have said that either.”
Destiny smiled softly and shook her head.
“Is it ok if I ask why you were jealous?”, Jazz inquired.
Destiny bit the inside of her cheek, mulling over her answer. “I mean, I don’t know. I don’t really have any business being jealous when I see you with other girls. Do I?”
Jazz took note of how she placed herself in the same category as potential love interests. She wondered if she’d done it intentionally or subconsciously. Either way, it spurred her on.
“And I don’t have any business wanting to make sure I never make you feel jealous again. Do I?”, she replied, gazing up at Destiny with unveiled wanting.
She stood up and cradled her face, tenderly stroking her cheek. She noticed the rise and fall of Destiny’s chest accelerate as she drew closer.
“So, now what?”, Destiny asked.
She didn’t realize how loaded of a question that was. Jazz wanted her in many ways. And not just for the night in that bedroom. She brought their foreheads to touch.
“Whatever you want,” she cooed. “I would never go further than you’re comfortable with.” She could feel Destiny lean into her.
Her eyes drifted to Jazz’s lips as she drew in a shaky breath. “I think I want you to kiss me,” she whispered.